Owning Your Happiness
I have set an appointment on my phone for 7:00 AM with an alert. Every morning, I read the same appointment:
“Decide to be happy – your happiness is your decision! Others dissatisfaction or unhappiness has nothing to do with you!!!”
Do you need a reminder on your phone? We can choose to start our day by taking responsibility for the approach we take, or we can be pulled in the countless directions of others moods. For me, this reminder serves several purposes.
I’m reminded that if I gravitate towards a state of mind that is not pleasant, it’s my decision to bring my state back to a positive place with gratitude and happiness. If someone else is having a bad day and I happen to get in the crosshairs of their mood, I can choose to react to that person with anger or frustration, or I can choose to be patient, kind and show compassion.
As for the latter, it’s best that we practice boundaries. However, we are probably going to encounter an angry driver or a short tempered cashier. These are small issues that should not determine if we are happy or not. Practicing self discipline to let them go will help each day be filled with more happiness.
On a deeper level, we will also encounter family, friends, coworkers that are committed to anger. It’s not our responsibility to join them in their anger. Rather, let’s create boundaries and recognize that their feelings likely have nothing to do with anything we’ve done. This is the harder stuff! We have to practice, every single day, continuing to love the person. I’ve found that when I continue to choose happiness, the others around me sense that I’m not going to go in the direction of anger and frustration, and sometimes they join my positive outlook.
So now, I’ve protected my own happiness and I’ve had a positive impact on other people.
It’s so much more fun to be happy. Some days are difficult, and I think that being insightful and practicing self reflection allows us to process the things that knock us out of our happiness zone. Sometimes we feel unhappy because we don’t feel peace about a decision we have to make. Those are moments that require prayer, meditation, or some type of quieting the mind and sitting with the difficult choice. Those are the times we really have to get still and pay attention to what comes up. The more we practice facing what is making us unhappy, the more we will be able to move past those situations in the future. In addition, if it’s something that keeps sneaking back up from the past, if we sit with it and recognize the feelings, we are giving ourselves permission to see it and it will slowly heal. For me, this area falls more into the category of healing. But emotional healing is directly related to happiness.
You will truly shine when you have a true sense of peace inside you. It’s an authentic feeling that you and others will feel and have a positive impact on the world. I believe peace starts with owning our own happiness.
Wishing you laughter and happiness. xo